Yoga of the Heart

The Sanskrit word for this ethic, Tapas, is sometimes translated as "heat," a meaning that is associated with cleansing or purifying. For example, metals are refined, or purified, by application of intense heat. With regard to Yoga, the heat of Tapas refers to the purification of the physical nature. Yogic exercises and breathing techniques turn up your body’s thermostat, purifying the physical nature with heat so that it can tolerate the extra energy produced by the emergence of the spiritual body. Energy produced in this way is often described as a "bright inner fire."

The Heat of Tolerance
I experienced a strong heat reaction in the early years of my practice. My body became so hot that I began swimming in Lake Erie while the spring ice was still in the water. I would wrap wet sheets around me to cool me, and the heat was so intense that it would dry the sheets. This condition lasted about five years. Lakshmanjoo told me that Yogis prefer living high in the Himalayas because it is cold. The periods of heat bloom and subside as the second nervous system begins to take shape along with the spiritual body.

When Lakshmanjoo talked about Tapas, he used the word Tolerance, and that is the meaning I will use throughout this chapter. Tolerance is in important characteristic of a hero. Heroic capability means more than the ordinary ability to withstand life’s pressures with steadiness, perseverance, and courage. A hero stands out as a leader; someone who is not afraid to take up the search for meaning in life; someone who recognizes the constant support of the spiritual body and is able to call on this extra support whenever it is needed.

Alice: I remember a saying about Swiss mountaineers: "A hero is a man who can stand one minute more." Would you say that describes Tapas in any way?
Lakshmanjoo: That is Tapas.

The term Tapas is often translated as discipline, or austerity, words that have harsh and unpleasant connotations. Many people believe that painful or difficult practices are necessary for spiritual growth — or even physical fitness, as in the phrase "No pain, no gain." It is important to state that my use of the word Tolerance does not imply suffering. Yoga is not a harsh physical endurance test; harshness to the body would violate the ethic of Nonviolence (see Chapter 4). Tolerance grows with happy practice, and you will enjoy feeling the new strength that this practice supplies as you become comfortable with a new flexibility in your personality and your body. As with all the ethical states, it becomes a resting place, strong and secure.

HOW TO START PRACTICING TOLERANCE

Alice: What kind of attitude should a beginning student have in order to be successful in practicing Tolerance?
Lakshmanjoo: It must be maintained secretly. It must not be exposed. He has to practice it every day. And he has not to show it. You become example of Tapas, and you have to live in it, that is all, you have not to preach. Renunciation is not the point. The point is just to live in that. You have not to renounce.
Alice: So then Tapas is not denial, is it, it’s not giving anything up. It's choosing how you are going to live.
Lakshmanjoo: Yes, your behavior. Soothing behavior, it must not be harsh. You must live that way. You have to live that way, you have not to teach that way.
Alice: Yes. So all this suffering in the name of God certainly has nothing to do with Tapas, has it? These people who beat themselves with bramble bushes and stand in the Ganges with their arms held up until they wither away is not Tapas, is it?
Lakshmanjoo: No it is not Tapasiya. It is just to collect money. If you don't go to office, you have to do something. You go to the river and stand and make money.
Alice: In mythology there are many stories about people doing austerities in order to get attention of God or gain some power. Is this a proper use of Tapas?
Lakshmanjoo: No this is not proper. There must not be a show.

1. Transform your outlook on mundane tasks. Any task, provided it does not cause violence to anyone or anything, can be used to practice Tolerance; you can easily begin to practice Tolerance in your work, your family life, and your other daily activities. Consider the mundane daily task of cleaning the kitchen after a meal — a job that most people prefer to avoid. Take on this work happily as an exercise in Tolerance. The way to make this daily task a happy one is to give it meaning for you. You will gain great respect for the work as well as pride in yourself, because you have proven that you can make this small effort regularly and competently, without complaint. The size of the task is not important; what matters is the flexible, steady attitude that you are developing by making and keeping a commitment.

When I first practiced Yoga, I would deliberately choose the most monotonous tasks, such as shelling peas and packing them in quart jars, or hemming large tablecloths by hand, and other tedious tasks. As I worked, I was able to transform my outlook about any job so that I did not merely endure it but instead began to enjoy it. Tolerance helped me to enjoy long, tedious hours because I was learning to respect my ability to complete the task.

Many times I have heard students equate patience with Tolerance. They are not the same at all. Patience has to do with remaining in the present moment (see Chapter 10 for more on this concept). Developing the quality of patience helps you stay in the present moment, rather than leaping ahead to when the job is done. This characteristic of present-moment awareness helps you build steadiness, one of the heroic qualities of Tolerance.

2. Set a daily task of observing the other nine ethics. All ten ethical principles are interconnected; I have mentioned several times in this book how Nonviolence, for instance, is a foundation for every other ethic. Tolerance has a similarly broad application. The greatest practice of Tolerance is constant attention to all the ethical principles. By giving yourself the task of trying to examine every action and thought in the light of ethics such as Nonviolence, Truthfulness, Nonstealing, and the rest, you develop the courage to change and the perseverance to keep on trying, day after day.

These are the qualities of a hero, in tune with the spiritual body. It becomes a happy challenge to become more flexible, discovering that you are doing all of this for yourself. You gain pride in the person that you are becoming.

3. Practice breathing techniques. Breathing techniques can help develop Tolerance by increasing the heat in the body. As I have discussed previously in this chapter, the heat that is produced cleanses your nervous system, contributing to better health and revealing a new sensitivity to yourself and your world. There is no need to attempt vigorous, advanced breathing techniques, which can be dangerous if done without proper supervision. The best breath techniques for you do are easy, gentle exercises such as the Complete Breath, described as follows:

Begin by sitting on the edge of a chair so your back is straight. Tuck your feet under the chair so your hips are higher than your knees; this will keep your lower back from getting tired. You can also practice this technique lying flat on the floor or your bed, but do not put a pillow under your head. If you would like to sit cross-legged on the floor, sit on a firm cushion to raise your hips and release tension in your lower back.
Place your hands on your belly and breathe out through your nose. Feel your stomach muscles tightening to push all the air out. Now release your stomach muscles and feel the air start to come in. Continue inhaling, expanding your stomach, your ribs, and your chest, until you are full. Then slowly start to breathe out in reverse, letting your chest relax first, then your ribs, and finally tightening your stomach as before to complete the exhalation.
Repeat five to ten times. Try to make the inhalation and exhalation approximately equal in length, and breathe as slowly as you can without strain. Always breathe through your nose. Concentrate on the sound of the breath.

Besides helping to increase Tolerance, the Complete Breath will improve concentration and help you reduce anxiety, stress, depression, and insomnia.

4. Use fantasy. I have often employed a fantasy exercise to encourage students to practice Tolerance. Most of us have been taught that fantasy can never be real and therefore it can never have a real connection with our life; it remains a dream. I have discovered that directed fantasy can help students approach change. Fantasy helps you to visualize change before it happens, and the ability to welcome change is one of the heroic qualities of Tolerance.

Start this fantasy exercise by lying down in a comfortable position with your eyes closed (or sit straight and relaxed in a chair). Take a few deep breaths, through your nose. Let your face relax. Drop your collar bones toward the floor and relax them. Let your hands lie palms up with fingers limp. Relax your hips and your legs, your feet and your back. Get very comfortable, very quiet.


Imagine that you are standing at one end of a long hallway. Visualize something you have always wanted, and place it at the end of the hall. Imagine everything about it in minute detail. Give yourself a moment or two to completely visualize this object of your desire at the end of the hall.


Now pretend that an adversary has come between you and your desired object in the hallway. You can still see your desired object, but when this adversary suddenly appears and stands between you and your goal, it blocks your approach. What is happening? Who or what is your adversary?


Observe this scene carefully for a minute or two. Now very slowly let the fantasy picture dissolve. Take a deep breath, open your eyes, and carefully review what has happened in your fantasy.

Most people who truly desire to change have trouble recognizing the stumbling blocks in their way. This exercise shows you what is keeping you from your goal by giving it a form. You will find this technique is very helpful if you are fighting an addiction. It is difficult to see what urges you to drink, or to take drugs, or to smoke, and this exercise gives that urge a form. When you see it, you will be able to deal with it in a different way.

Many students have been greatly helped by practicing this fantasy technique. I would like to share with you a few letters from students about their experiences:

My adversary started out as a big black knight on a big black horse and then it got very nebulous, just a big black thing. I was trying to figure out still how to trick it and get around it when you ended the exercise. It did cross my mind that the adversary came out of me.

I saw the adversary step in, and I could still see what I wanted at the end of the hall, but I felt powerless to confront the adversary to get what I wanted.


The first time I tried the fantasy exercise of seeing myself as I wanted to be at the end of the hall I was unable to see anything for a long time. There did not seem to be any adversary in front of me. Later I realized that my inability to visualize myself the way I want to be was in itself the adversary.


I started visualizing the person I’d always wanted to be. Nothing appeared to stop me from moving toward it. But then there was a real feeling of fear in me. And I asked myself, why am I afraid? And where does this come from? And then all of a sudden I heard this voice saying, "Don’t do that. You really don’t want that. Stay back. Stay back." It wasn’t my voice. It was my aunt’s [his guardian] voice.

Whether you are using this technique to overcome an addiction, to bring about some other needed change in your life, or to bring your spiritual nature into bloom, you will find that it is easier to deal with a form than with something unseen. Form gives you something to work with.

RESULTS OF PRACTICING TOLERANCE

The practice of Tolerance causes an internal transformation that shows outwardly as a greater flexibility and a steadiness in the personality. Although upsets in life still occur, their results are not so devastating, because you are aware of the support of your spiritual body and you know that you are not alone. You will especially notice a much greater flexibility in your relationships.

I have noticed this change in my students in many ways. A very mundane example is the student whose outlook was so rigid that she became very upset if her partner did not load the dishwasher according to the manual. After practicing Tolerance for some time, her flexibility increased so much that she was able to enjoy the diversity of options regarding dishwasher loading for the first time.

Another student had to deal with a lifelong inability to disagree with those he loved. When his wife’s mother moved in to the couple’s small apartment after a stroke and required constant care, he was greatly stressed by his lack of privacy. At first, he was unable to communicate his emotions to his wife. Eventually he realized that if he did not change his rigid pattern, he would lose the relationship he valued most, and so he managed, with the support of his steady practice of Yogic ethics, to become assertive and break free of this lifelong handicap.

Both examples demonstrate the heroic capability of those who recognize that change is necessary and are brave enough to attempt it. Tolerance helps you welcome change.

Change is frightening to most people, because they fear that they will lose something or suffer pain because of the change. The physical body is naturally afraid of change. For example, if you are asked to move to a new city due to a job transfer, you may fear loss of friends or close family connections. Most fears are based on unreliable fantasies of future or past. The practice of Tolerance helps make any place harmonious and attractive because you can know the strength and steadiness that your spiritual body will supply to help you manage any changes.

A Story about Tolerance from the Mahabharata
The Mahabharata is a long epic that contains the eighteen chapters of the Bhagavad Gita. In this epic, there is a story about a great warrior named Bhishma that illustrates Tolerance in the heroic sense.
After the great battle that is described in the Gita, Bhishma lay mortally wounded, his body stuck with arrows. However, he did not want to die until the sun was in the correct position. The Gita talks about two paths of the sun, saying that if one dies while the sun is on its northward path (i.e., after the spring equinox) the soul has a chance to be released from the cycle of birth and death; if during the southward path (after the autumn equinox), the soul is born again into the world.
Bhishma knew that he had the chance for liberation from the physical world if he could wait to die until the sun turned northward. He chose to lie on the battlefield, refusing attention to his wounds, for three months, and then gave up his body.

Earlier I mentioned that Tolerance is often mistaken for harsh, painful austerities. People who practice this type of austerity for its own sake easily degenerate into a lifestyle of self-torture. They begin to focus on suffering to the exclusion of any other experience. There are some people who enjoy suffering. Perhaps pain is the only way for them to recognize their feelings. It satisfies them in some way. This attitude, however, does not allow Tolerance to facilitate change.

The habit of suffering prevents change, because people become rigid in that pattern, unable to recognize that their spiritual body could offer a multitude of additional options. Tolerance shows you that there are many ways to approach a difficult task, and gives you the flexibility of choice. Instead of running away from your decisions in fear, you can roll up your sleeves and "go for it."

Practice of Tolerance helps you to recognize self-destructive patterns of suffering and make the choice to change. This offers you a new path to emotional freedom, because when you feel free to change and grow, your emotions (which, as I have said, are part of your spiritual body) are not stifled. Tolerance shows you that you can stand much more than you thought you could, including intense emotion. Thus, you no longer fear emotion.

Be Your Own Best Friend
The Bhagavad Gita states that you are your own best friend and your own worst enemy. In my teaching, I encourage people to help themselves to grow and change in any way they can. Recognizing that there are many ways to solve problems is part of being a hero, because you learn not to lock yourself into the limited point of view of your physical body, but instead to enjoy the flexibility of adding the participation of your spiritual body.
Often students who are faced with a deep injury from the past are unable to continue happily in Yoga because all of their thought is spent remembering pain. Productive, creative thought is blocked, and people are unable to sustain a positive self-image. I have often advised these students to consult a professional therapist, because therapy is one way for people to regain confidence in their abilities. When this hurdle is overcome, the practice of Tolerance becomes much easier. Using every means at your disposal to help yourself is how to become your own best friend.

How to Practice Change

If you are afraid of change, try practicing change in very small, nonfrightening ways. If you wear only pastel colors, for instance, try some bright ones for a while. If you prefer chocolate ice cream, eat vanilla sometimes. Take a new route to work every so often. Keep the changes small so the experience will remain pleasant.

Small changes, practiced continually, make bigger changes easier — for example, if you have conditioned yourself to change your daily habits without pain, you will be better able to handle larger changes, such as a divorce, a new job, or a new home, with greater comfort.

After some time, the physical body will become flexible and work happily toward the freedom of expansion. When you stand secure and comfortable in the knowledge that you have the power to change, you can begin to observe the benefits of the power of Tolerance.

Freedom from the prison of fear of change comes as a wave of confidence; eventually you will become stable in that feeling. The feeling of confidence springs spontaneously from your spiritual body. It especially emerges when you are free to play; when you have dropped your guard. Some people are unable to play because in play you never know what is going to happen next. Tolerance puts the fear of this type of uncertainty to rest. The new flexibility gained by Tolerance keeps you happy in unexpected circumstances.

The Unburning Fire
A common image of purification in mythology is fire. The image is also used in discussing meditation; when there is "fuel" in the form of thoughts, the fire of the mind continues to burn. When one succeeds in thinking nothing — even for a few seconds — the fire subsides because it is not getting fuel.
Once, early in my years of practice when Sivananda was alive, I had a repeating dream in which I was crawling among the timbers of the attic in a very large, empty house. The house was in flames and I was trying to find a way out. Then I saw the flames licking my legs and feet, and I realized that I felt no pain. When I asked Sivananda about this experience, he replied that there was no pain because there was no resistance.

The Power of Tolerance

The result of practicing Tolerance was described to me by Lakshmanjoo: "Through practicing self-control and Tolerance, all impurity in your body and organs vanishes and you become filled with power."

That power is stability, knowing that you cannot be shaken. You are sure of who you are and what you want to do. It begins with the experience of an ecstacy of oneness when the physical and spiritual bodies join. Sometimes it happens in a meditative state. I first experienced this in a dream as a state of tremendous expansion. It is impossible to fully describe this dream experience, but I must say that it had a great effect on my spiritual growth. It gave me new joy in the practice of Tolerance, and I found that I had the confidence to move easily in any direction without fear.