A Bunch of Reminiscences

In the Cave of Gaganananda (Part 2)

There were a few old temples on either side of my cave within a distance of two to three furlongs. I learnt that an aged Sadhu was staying in one of those temples. He had a few tattered clothes, an old carpet, and a small metal pot. Robbers attacked him, thrashed him well, and relieved him of his belongings. One or two incidents took place almost every week. I was under the impression that a thick jungle like that would be free from human visits, but a few days’ experience proved me wrong. I frequently saw gangs of about 10 to 15 persons consuming bhang and smoking intoxicants like Ganja, Sulfa, etc. The Director knew this. He also knew that almost all the holy places were infested by persons addicted to such intoxicants.

One day when we were taking our meals, he warned me saying, "You have to be very careful, Swamiji. A Sadhu who was residing very near you got beaten up."

"Maybe he was having money and was attacked by the robbers, but Rama has not even a penny," I replied coolly.

"But you have a small brass bucket, a brass pot, a blanket, and a carpet. That poor soul had only one small pot and a carpet but even so he was attacked. You have enough to attract the robbers."

I smiled and said, "My dear Director, I have full faith in the aphorisms of Patanjala Yoga Sutra. While describing the greatness of the control of the five-fold (Panchayam), the seer has said therein: Ahimsapratishtayam Tatsannidhau Vairatyagaha. That is, if an individual infuses his mind, words, and body with complete nonviolence, there will be none to have hatred towards him. The sage seems to convey through this statement that if we do not wish ill to others and never harm anyone, nobody will have any ill-feeling for us nor will anyone harm us. If we don't think of robbing others we should be assured that no one will ever rob us."

The Director smiled and said, "In the present times, we find hardly any example to corroborate this statement. I may say practically nil. There are no doors to your cave either," he exclaimed. "So it remains open when you go out."

"Yes," said I.

He was surprised and said, "This makes it easier for the thieves. Some day when you return to the cave you will find it swept clean. How about my fixing doors there?"

"No, that would be my cowardice. That will mean I have done no spiritual practice and I have no faith in the Shastras," I said in a firm voice.

"As you please," he grinned and left for his office, and I returned to my cave.

My daily routine was like this: I used to get up at about 4 a.m. After having a wash I put some water on my head and then wiped it off. After doing four or five Pranayamas, I would sit for medita-tion with absolutely no thought whatsoever. I was sitting in Siddhasana for meditation for I could conveniently sit in that posture continuously for about four to five hours. The object of my meditation was nirvishaya, that is, complete thoughtless state of mind. I was trying my best not to allow any thought to emerge in my mind. In spite of my trying hard, a certain incident or thought would emerge suddenly and I would dwell on it for a long time. Subsequently I would realize the existence of the thought which had spoilt my meditation. At that realization I would get wild and uproot the thought but within a few seconds some old memory would stealthily sneak in and pollute the pure blissful state of my mind. This struggle was going on for a number of days. There were occasions when I was completely disgusted.

I felt like giving up meditation and going for a walk, but I came round with added fortitude and practiced meditation again. There were moments when, after struggling hard for hours together, I succeeded in getting into the thoughtless state of mind. The pleasure of that momentary state was so great and enchanting that all my activities throughout the day were surcharged by it. I practiced meditation to attain the same state every time. After meditation, I attended to my morning duties and doing asanas. I was spending about two hours in practicing the asanas. Finally I would take my bath in the Ganges and read Gita thrice. By the time I did it, it would be noon and I would leave for the Director's house. I was walking fast and would cover the distance well within an hour. After taking my lunch at about 1 p.m. and resting for a while, I would return to the cave round about five in the evening. Thus I was out of the cave between 12 noon and 5 p.m.

Once when I returned to the cave at about 5:30 p.m. and jumped upon the first step through the opening, I sensed that someone was inside. I have mentioned earlier that boars and other wild animals were frequently visiting the cave. So I came to the conclusion that a wild animal was inside and entered the cave so as to clear the passage for him to get out. Since I had entered the cave from the bright sunshine outside, I could hardly see anything inside. I was perplexed and did not know for a moment whether my vision was all right or the boar himself was standing on its hind legs. After staring at the standing object for a while I could see that it was a human being about five and a half feet tall. He had a fair complexion and was in a black shirt and a dhoti. He had collected all my books and the carpet but as soon as he saw me he started trembling. He wanted to speak but his tongue was tight. He was perspiring profusely and all his clothes were wet.

I put my hand affectionately on his shoulder and asked him, "Hello dear, what brings you here? Have you come to see me?" The young man shivered and said in a low voice, "No, Sir." "Do you want to take away some of these books for reading?" I tried to ease him and asked him to sit down and feel comfortable: "Please sit down, wipe off your sweat, and read if you like," I pacified him.

The youth burst into tears and prayed, "For heaven's sake let me go out of this cave. I am guilty. I had come here to steal." "Never mind. You may take away all these things even now. I will not come in your way. If they prove useful in removing your sorrow and agony, you should have them by all means," I assured him. He wept and fumbled, "No sir, I will not touch these things any more, but allow me to get out of here."

I could not, then, help asking him, "Would you mind telling me when did you come here?" With tears flowing from his eyes he replied, "I came in just after you left for the town. You might have been somewhere round the tamarind tree." The tree was hardly about two furlongs from the cave. I was astonished and asked him, "Then what were you doing all the time here? You had enough time to make good your escape with the booty. It must be full six hours." "That’s what has been the problem," explained the young man. "I must have committed scores of such robberies in the past but not even once I was caught as today. I collected your books and wanted to leave but I felt as if my feet were glued to the ground, as if someone was holding my feet tight to the ground. Despite my eagerness to leave I could not move an inch." He kept the books on the ground and fell on my feet.

I patted him on his back to ease him of his mental turmoil. "Take it easy, dear, we shall presently go out," I said and brought him out of the cave and made him to sit on the platform. "So you have seen that there is no injustice in the realm of God," I explained. "You may think that no one is watching you when you are doing certain things, but do not forget that the Divine Eyes are watching you in all your movements. Hence do not try to deceive the Lord in anything you do in your life. You should always remember God, recite his sacred name, and go on doing your duties. The merciful Lord will fulfil all your desires and make you happy and prosperous."

On my enquiring about his antecedents he said, "I am a cowherd. I live in the old part of the city. I have my old grandmother and a young brother to support. We are extremely poor and hence many a time we catch fish and sell them to earn our livelihood. At times we go to the holy places in the guise of Brahmin priests and live on alms. When convenient we steal to fill this wretched belly. But now onwards, sir, I will be your disciple. I will come and serve you."

"Dear friend, I am not competent to be a Guru," I said, "but if you like you can come here and spend half an hour in Satsang. It will be for your own good. It is better to commit suicide by jumping into the Ganges than to fill your belly by such foul means. You are a young man, you have a good physique and you can certainly work hard and earn your bread." "Sir, I could not get any job. I tried my best but failed," said the young man.

It was time for my evening prayers. So I got up, promising to get him a job. The young man fell on my feet and prayed again, "Sir, let your grace be on me," and went away. I went in the cave, washed my hands and feet, and started doing japa to prepare myself for meditation. During meditation the incident kept on coming in my mind. Either the weeping young man flashed before my closed eyes or the imaginative scene of his poverty made me think. That is why the Gita says: Sarvadivarani sayammya Mano Rhidt Nirudya cha, Murdhynadhayatmanh Pranmasthito Yogadharanam: "There are ten senses and the mind projects itself out through them all and also takes the outer conditions inside through the same." As a result the impurity of the outer world gets in. Once the outer impurity is carried within, the mind is disturbed and the seeker fails to meditate upon the state of void or thoughtlessness. I tried my best to make my mind blank. I do not know how long did I struggle to get control over my mind.

The next day, early in the morning, the Director came to see me. He had since known the incident. By chance the young man, Gopal, also came in at the same time. Later, he visited my cave every morning to clean it. It was a matter of great pleasure to me that the Director had secured him a job. "Swamiji, there seems to be immense strength in your decision and belief. You seem to have made it a magic cave. Even I am afraid to enter it lest I get stuck up there. It was good that you came in time or else poor Gopal would have been dead or would have become a stone like Ahalya," the Director remarked smilingly.

"It is not my doing. I don’t have that power," I submitted. "To me this seems to be the effect of the great sage, Sri Gaganananda. Whatever it may be, it is certain that this has increased my faith in the kindness of God by leaps and bounds. Now I am convinced that all the worldly suffering and happiness is our own creation. If our thoughts and deeds are absolutely clean, if we never think of robbery and jealousy, I am confident nobody will ever be able to harm us. It was perhaps due to -the divine influence that no sins or atrocities were ever committed within a radius of ten miles of Buddha's abode." The Director expressed his deep sense of gratitude at my words, wished me and left for his home and I resumed my daily activities. Gopal too left for his work.

Now I gradually increased the period of my meditation. Since the place was calm and quiet, my mind too had become fairly quiet. Though for a short while, I was now able to enjoy the Divine Bliss by bringing my body and mind to the state of absolute stillness. Gopal had talked a lot to the people about me and very frequently some of them came to see me and to have Satsang. Some of the visitors even invited me for meals. Generally I avoided these invitations, but sometimes the visitor insisted and I had to yield. Thus, I went to a few friends for meals.

While sitting for meditation in the cave I invariably hung my dhoti on my walking stick, kept horizontal on two nails at the top of the door, to serve as a curtain. One fine morning, after washing my hands and feet and doing five pranayamas, I sat for meditation. I was in some high state of Bliss. Worldly thoughts were nonexistent. I was beyond the sense of time. There was no room for the time sense in that state. That state of my mind was perhaps not acceptable to my fate or it was jealous of it and hence the following incident took place.

A terrific noise like cracking of a mountain pulled me down from the Divine state of Bliss and Peace to this world of diversity and disturbance. I felt as if the roof of the cave had fallen on my head and that I was crushed under its weight. I felt as if my throat was choked and I was trying to lift the whole weight to breathe in a little air. Water started oozing out of my mouth and I was making some sort of sound like, Uh, Ha, Uh, Ha. I had stretched my fists as if, with all my strength, I was trying to throw away a very heavy weight.

Later I was told by the intruder that I was in that state for about 10 to 15 minutes. When the words of the intruder fell on my ears I behaved with him almost like an innocent child visiting this world for the first time and finding everything novel, who keeps on showering questions on the existence of the various objects. The intruder, whose name was Shankerlal, had come to invite me for lunch. He had seen the dhoti hanging for a curtain on the door and was sitting outside as I was in meditation. He told me that on his saluting me I asked him as to who he was, who I was, and where we were. When he told me that we were in a cave, my next immediate inquiry was what a cave was like, etc. Later I was told that I was shattered due to the falling of the dhoti which had received a slight jerk from him.

On my recovering from the shock he told me that I was in a terrible shattered condition for about 15 minutes. He also told me that I was speechless and was striving hard to breathe. I inquired of him as to how the ceiling of the cave had paved in and who hit me hard on my head. By now I had completely recovered and was talking to the gentleman. He invited me for lunch. I declined the offer and told him politely that the food he had given me a little earlier was enough to sustain me for a number of years. While I was talking to him I felt as if someone was still hitting my head. I told him that I could stay there no more. I collected my blanket, etc., hired a tonga and went straight to the residence of the Director who was amazed to find me there at that odd hour. I wished him from a distance and said, "So I am now leaving, carrying the gift of Benaras on my head." He could not understand the implication of my statement and asked me lovingly, "Were you put to any inconvenience there? If so, I will find you another suitable place."

I narrated the whole story. He said, "I am the Chairman of the Municipal Committee. The forest is within the Municipal limits. I can certainly prohibit the public from entering the forest area." I thanked him immensely and said, "I am greatly indebted to you but the strokes I am experiencing in my head are tremendous and wi1l not allow me to stay here any longer." He became helpless and said, "All right but you have your meal first. It is ready." I had my bath and took my food.

On the suggestion of the Director, I agreed to go to Lucknow. The Secretary of the Ramtirtha Publication League, Lucknow, was intimately known to the Director. The Director gave me a letter of introduction to him. The next day I reached Lucknow. The gentleman received me with all cordiality. He gave me a number of books but the striking sensation in my head did not allow me, even for a while, to rest. I was striving for solitude in a thick forest. Ignoring his repeated requests, I left for Ayodhya.
.

(to be continued)

[Back to previous installment]

[Forward to next installment]